Balanced On My Knees
by GoldenPetal13
Summary: After Season 2, Stiles sends Derek a joke gift that backfires and Derek let's slip more of his past than he meant to. Stiles is smart though and Derek can't hide it from him, it starts with misunderstandings on both sides, but perhaps they can learn to be more for each other. Ignores Season 3.
1. Chapter 1

After Season 2, Stiles sends Derek a joke gift that backfires and Derek let's slip more of his past than he meant to. Stiles is smart though and Derek can't hide it from him, it starts with misunderstandings on both sides, but perhaps they can learn to be more for each other.

Ignores Season 3.

Rated M

Warnings: Male on Male, mild BDSM, some underage stuff, learning to be a Dom, angst.

Don't like don't read, though constructive criticism is always welcome (plus any reviews).

I own nothing, literally.

Derek's 1st person POV throughout.

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**Balanced on my Knees**

**01**

Stunned I stare at my bed in the subway cart in shock, struggling to process why someone would be leaving such an incredibly significant gift there, and then I realise someone must know, they must have found out about New York, about Kate.

The only person I can think of is Uncle Peter and my blood runs cold, because I can't let him dominate me, I have to be the Alpha to him or he'll go on another blood soaked revenge killing spree biting anyone that gets in his way.

Picking up the collar I sniff it and some of the tension drains out of my body, it smells like Stiles, which isn't a much better prospect, but at least I can bargain with him, if I can think of a way that convinces him that Scott would get hurt if he tells people about my past he won't say a word.

It's a nice thick black leather dog collar and once upon a time I'd have loved to have gotten this from a significant other. I've been a Beta that's borderline Omega all my life, I liked taking orders, I liked not having to be in charge, and now I'm the Alpha and I'm horribly aware of just how bad I am at it.

Something flashes on the collar and there's a gold coloured round tag, it reads "Sourwolf", on one side and on the other in small writing is, "If lost pls return to Stiles Stilinski", and it's even got the kid's cell number on there.

He has to know about my past, there's no other explanation for him to have done this, the annoying little shit likes to mock me and make my life hell. At least he's done it in such a way the Pack won't find out.

The collar feels so good in my hands and I listen furtively for heartbeats but I can only hear my own. Lifting the collar up I wrap it around my neck, I don't do it up, it means too much if I do it up, as it is my knees tremble and I fall to them, my old ingrained behaviour rising up, the need to submit battles my new need to dominate.

Kate introduced me to this world and it suited by Beta/Omega wolf perfectly then, I never really thought to ask her questions of why me, why some underage kid, or how she knew exactly what to do to make me faint in pleasure.

New York was good, open, easy to hide in and find the submission I wanted in a few long term, but not serious, relationships with true Doms.

And then everything went to shit again and I was so focused on stopping Peter, of paying him back for taking Laura away from me that I became the Alpha, I never realised how hard it was to be in charge, to dominate and not screw it up by being abusive.

Gripping the collar in my hand I shove it into my jeans pocket and grab my jacket, I am so visiting that irritating teen and scaring the crap out of him, he will learn to do what I say and not poke fun at me, and he's going to keep his mouth shut about this information. Just because I'm a natural sub doesn't make me any less of an Alpha.

At least that's what I tell myself.

Angry and annoyed I run through the town and circle his house so I can come at it from the back, unobserved. The Sheriff is there but I know he'll be leaving soon. I shamelessly eavesdrop on him and Stiles talking, it's innocent enough stuff about school, which is ending soon, and lacrosse, and eating plenty of vegetables and why they're good for you.

The cruiser pulls away carrying the Sheriff to work and I bolt to the backdoor, using the spare key hidden under a rock I let myself in and sneak up to Stiles' room. There I open his window a fraction, the idiot believes I climb in through it, no need to let him know my real route. Lurking in my normal corner I lay, well stand, in wait for my prey.

He doesn't take long, that uncoordinated body stumbles up the stairs and ambles into the room humming under his breath. He has a marker pen in one hand and he sits at his desk, "Awesome, now for phase two of my plan for Derek," he mutters and I can't let him continue.

"Stiles," I pour my rage in my voice and let it go wolf with a growl that sounds like I'm going to rip his throat out, with my teeth.

"Argh!" He flails his arms and falls off his chair a bag falling to the floor with a comical metallic clang a metal dog bowl appearing from inside. "Derek!" Stiles jumps to his feet and then looks so damn guilty that I know without a shadow of a doubt that he has been digging into my past, that he knows all about it and is rubbing my face in it.

I already know he doesn't think much of me as an Alpha, that he doesn't really like me as a person, he's always making fun of me, he's helped get me accused of murder, twice, he's dug up my sister after I buried her… And part of me wants to take the punishment he's dishing out to me, because my family's all dead because of me, because of Kate, because I submitted to the wrong Dom, too young to understand why she wasn't a Dom just an abusive power crazed bitch, I've met proper Doms, male and female, since then and I know the difference now.

Having distracted myself I shake my head dig in my pocket and wave the collar at him, he sees it and smirks and it's like a punch to the heart. If he's found out about me he should have researched what giving a collar means to a sub, what it signifies, why it's so special. "You got it then," and it means nothing to him but amusement.

I've got him backed up against his bedroom door again and he's still smirking at me, annoying cocky little bastard, he doesn't have what it takes to Dom me, and I snarl, "You breathe a word of this to anyone and they will not find your body…"

"Sourwolf," he taunts me with the name on the collar, the sub name he's picked out for me, "It's a stupid joke, don't get your little werewolf panties in a twist."

A joke… He thinks this is a joke…

I've already lost Erika and Boyd. Isaac is raving about Scott and spends most of the time with him, I've not seen him in days really. Jackson is wrapped up in Lydia and wants nothing to do with me. Which leaves me with Uncle Peter back from the dead and clearly planning something. So I'm back to being an Omega but an Alpha version of an Omega, packless, alone. And now I have a pack of Alphas circling waiting to rip all those Beta idiots apart if I'm judged unworthy, which I will be, and Stiles is…

Stiles is blathering at me, "Dude, it's just a dog collar, and I got you a dog bowl and a doggie blanket, because really? Dog jokes are awesome, I've done it to Scott…" He raises his arms defensively, "Don't kill me, you might need me later on."

"Dog jokes?" It snaps me back and I realise I've just said that out loud. He got the collar to taunt me about being a werewolf, not because he knows I'm a sub, was a sub, or whatever.

"Yeah," those brown eyes focus on me and are far too intelligent and tend to see through things far too easily. "What did you think it was?"

Instead of answering I yank him forward and snarl, "I am not a dog," in his face and make my eyes go red, propelling him to the bed I twist and shove, and then I flee the house while he untangles himself from his soft landing.

Running into the woods I spend two days out there and evade the lack of people searching for me by doing absolutely nothing except hide by a small stream.

Once again I've proved why I'm a terrible Alpha, I should be planning ahead, coming up with contingencies and gaining my Betas' respect and loyalties. I'd even forgotten what day is was going to be on the second day, and it's a good thing that Isaac has an anchor now, and that Erika and Boyd are gone because the moon rises full and round, her pull indescribable and for the first time since I was ten I nearly lose control.

The wolf roars and struggles and the control slips through my fingers, I'm reduced to huddling under a tree gripping the collar for all I'm worth as the anger inside me shifts to a killing rage, and my anchor drifts away leaving me bereft of focus.

At the height of the full month I claw at my own body trying to use the pain to drive the wolf back, I'm bloodied and wounded, but it's not enough, and I howl my loss and guilt and fear and crippling loneliness to the night sky.

When morning comes I'm curled in a ball and the ghosts of my family I helped to murder singing loud accusations in my ears.

Eventually I splash into the stream and wash myself as clean as I'll ever get. Then I go home and wait for the Alpha pack to rip me to shreds, I've no pack of my own to defend, they'll be more than fine without me.

Settling on the makeshift bed of the subway car I find myself running my fingers over the leather of the collar and wishing I'd never met Kate, that I was still that Beta/Omega and that I had a Dom to run their fingers through my hair and soothe me. But I'm the Alpha now and that will never happen, Alphas dominate, they don't submit.

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A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	2. Chapter 2

See chapter 1 for all warnings. Plus you might think this is a deep meaningful story, it's not, it's short, sharp and ugh, here read it… PS there are only 8 chapters in total, hence me calling it short.

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**Balanced on my Knees**

**02**

For two weeks everyone leaves me alone, except for Uncle Peter, but after three days of me not doing anything and blatantly ignoring him, he leaves me alone too.

Other than short trips to the sink for water, to the fridge for my rapidly dwindling stocks of food, or to the bathroom for toilet breaks, I stay on my bed too tired and despondent to do much else.

I'm bored of waiting for the Alphas to kill me, I'm almost tempted to go out there and find them. They must be who Erika and Boyd heard, whether or not they took them in or killed them is something else entirely.

The hummingbird fast heartbeat registers in my ears and I lay there on my bed listening to it, I know it's Stiles, and then I can hear his jeep's engine, which is strange, I shouldn't be able to zero in on his heartbeat so easily.

A slam of a car door, the padding of feet over gravel, and then down the stairs, across the room to the closed door. He fights with the door and it gives unexpectedly so he almost falls into the subway car, "Stupid werewolf lair," he's muttering and then the cocky little bastard saunters down towards me.

"Hey Derek," his voice is full of mischief and I groan inwardly, he can be even more stubborn than Uncle Peter used to be, but if I can outwait him I can outwait Stiles. "There you are, right where Peter said you'd be," there's a catch in his voice at my uncle's name, a spurt of fear, I don't blame him for that, Peter's incredibly frightening now.

"So, up and at 'em Mr 'Alpha I'm not a doggie'..." He's leaning over me and recoils, "Dude, when was the last time you washed?" As Alpha I exude a musk; it's built up in the last two weeks.

Flailing around he complaints, loudly, about the smell and I do my best to ignore him, in my hand I'm still holding the collar he's given me, I hid it from Uncle Peter but not from Stiles, he already knows about it, but doesn't understand it.

My eyes are open the tiniest slit and I keep my gaze away from him when he's looking at me.

Eventually he shuts up and he's staring at me so I play dead and wait for him to leave me. A chair squeaks and he's still staring at me, thoughtfully, that doesn't bode well, he can be smart if he can focus long enough, but I have faith in Scott to screw up and need Stiles to help bail him out again.

"Is this about the dog joke?" He asks and I maintain my silence.

Creeping closer he kneels over me and I can tell he's doing his best to not breathe through his nose. He's doing some kind of visual inspection and crows as his hand darts down, it's all I can do not to flinch, and then he's dangling the keys to my car, "Oh look Derek, I can take the Camaro for a spin…" It's tempting to snatch them back but I'm determined to beat him at this and he has a very low boredom threshold at the best of times. He sighs and pats my shoulder, "Damn I thought that might do it."

Moving away, and taking the keys with him, he's soon back with my jacket, "Oh look Derek," he echoes from earlier, "Your leather jacket of broodiness and manpain," it's annoying that he's touching my jacket but I can still ignore him.

"Dude," he's complaining again, "What the hell?" He sits next to me and rests his chin in his knees, "Seriously? It's been weeks, we've had to deal with Peter and the Alphas all on our own. They're all driving me crazy," he whines and I have no sympathy. No one wants me as their Alpha, and considering how I've single handily managed to get my family burnt alive by my supposed girlfriend, lost my sister, been accused of murder, and generally made things worse because I gave Jackson the Bite in the first place they're better off without me.

I should have let Scott kill Uncle Peter, if he'd been cured he'd have gone on and been happy, I wouldn't have been able to Bite Jackson so no Kanima. And if Scott hadn't been cured and had become the Alpha he'd have been fine too, he'd have had Allison and Stiles to be his pack, he wouldn't have taken advantage of Isaac's abusive home life, Erika's seizures or Boyd's loneliness.

Stiles prods me and I stay unmoving, it's best for him to leave me here to rot in my little pity party. Though he has helped me make up my mind, I'll get up when he leaves, I'll clean up, get the rest of my affairs in order, get my will rewritten and then go and face the Alphas. I'll do my best to draw them away from Beacon Hills and go down fighting. I have no Pack so the Alpha abilities won't pass to anyone here, and the Alpha pack are Alphas so it will simply dissipate.

Sighing Stiles leans into me and I lay there finally ready to give it all up, I'm tired, so incredibly tired, I'm only twenty two, I never managed to graduate high school, Laura insisted I try but we moved around too often, I was needed so I could work and bring in money to help us eat, because werewolves eat a lot. Our insurance ripped us off, and we put most of it into caring for Uncle Peter, now it's all sorted and frankly I'm rich, but I can't live anywhere nice because the Argents will firebomb it given half a chance, or no chance at all, they won't be happy until all werewolves are dead.

A tug on the collar brings me to the here and now and I tighten my fingers on it as Stiles tries to get it away from me, a warning growl trickles out of my throat and he stares at me. Then he huffs and pulls out his phone waving it around to get a signal.

Triumphantly he taps away on it and goes quiet as he reads something, for all I know he's playing a dumb game, Angry Ninja Parrots or something, the three Betas were addicted to it. Occasionally he says, "Huh," and keeps reading.

His heartbeat is too fast but that's his normal resting pace, the medication he's on forcing it to go so quickly, probably to keep up with his mind. His breaths are steady and I'm startled by how easy it is to relax there with him. He really isn't a threat to me, he'd have told me if he was going to kill me, and I doze there waiting for his phone battery to die, which will force him to leave.

"Right," he taps his phone and puts it away, "This will either work, or you're gonna kill me," he's muttering, then he adds, "Or I'm going to catch something unhygienic and die from unwashed werewolf cooties, bleh."

Shuffling around he's up on his hands and knees and then he's hovering over the top half of my body, "Here goes nothing," he takes a deep breath and leans down into my neck. Blunt, weak human teeth bite into the flesh there and the snarl is ripped out of me as my wolf rises and then shockingly sinks again with the equivalent of a silent laugh.

I know my face has changed, that I'm showing my Beta face right now, my fangs are huge in my mouth, my fingers are tipped with razor sharp claws and some dumb human kid is biting my throat in a show of dominance that is amusing the hell out of my wolf.

Confused at what's happening I lay there and take it, if he was a wolf he'd know I'm not really submitting to him, more waiting to see what he's going to do and the way he's over me leaves his very vulnerable stomach free to be slashed by my claws at any second.

Baffled I stay still and he lets me go so he can pull away and stare down at me, he grins, "Hey Derek, you back to your normal grumpy self yet?" He asks and I frown at him, "Come on, you can say something growly to me," he smells hopeful so I keep quiet and his face drops, "Crap, so close too."

What does he want? Why is he still here? Why isn't he leaving me like everyone else does? Like I deserve?

A hand touches my wrist and I keep staring at him trying to read him but then he's grabbing my collar and darting back as I automatically lunge towards him, he waves the collar at me and I snarl. It's my collar now, he gave it to me, he can't take it back. "Oh look Derek," he waves it some more and my eyes track it, "Do you want your collar back?"

Of course I want it back and I narrow my eyes at him watching as he grins smugly at me, he stumbles backwards a few steps and my instincts make me take a few crouched ones forward. Stiles' eyes widen and he swallows breaking eye contact to stare at the collar and then back to me, "Oh," he whispers and he deliberately takes a step towards me.

Unsure I freeze in place, not quite standing, not quite kneeling.

Passing me he stands behind me and my wolf stirs but stays relaxed, it's like it knows that Stiles isn't a threat to us being an Alpha, that this isn't pack related. But how does it know? When I was Beta/Omega the wolf was involved in the submitting, it liked submitting, now it's not submitting in the slightest but it's not trying to dominate either, in fact it's starting to doze off like it's safe, like it trusts Stiles just like I do and I don't know why.

Hands touch my neck and I flinch slightly, "Shh," Stiles murmurs and then there's something around my neck and his fingers are removed and I reach up to feel the collar there.

He's collared me.

The cocky annoying little shit has collared me!

I struggle to my feet snarling and snapping but I've been laying down too long and it's been over a day since I drank anything, my knees give out and I fall to the floor, I don't let it stop me and I try again and again.

"Dude, no," Stiles is flapping around me, "No, just relax, okay, just relax, oh shit, Derek, don't hurt yourself," hands push me down and I snarl more, growling and roaring at him for doing this when it's just a joke to him.

And still my wolf isn't upset, in fact it's curled up for a nap inside of me, it's totally relaxed and I freeze in place at a loss to why it's not lashing out, it's Alpha now, it should attack any and all displays of dominance directed at it, at me, at us.

"There," Stiles is patting my shoulder, "That's it, just relax Mr Sourwolf." He wiggles a finger under my collar and tugs upwards, on autopilot I follow him and my transition to standing is wobbly but more successful. "Good, that's awesome," and he wrinkles his nose at me, "Dude you are so taking a shower," which leads to him tugging on the collar and me following him to the tiny little bathroom hidden away in the side of the abandoned site.

He's pleased with himself and points at the dingy tiled area I've rigged a shower up in, it only does cold water and the pressure is abysmal, but it's better than bathing outside, "And take a shower," he waves a hand in the general direction of the shower and lets me go.

Letting my face shift back to human I lift an eyebrow at him and I decide it can't hurt to shower, once he's gone I'll put my plan in motion and showering is going to help me get my affairs and will sorted out, otherwise no ones going to come near me because of the smell.

Pulling my t-shirt off I throw it at him and he squawks, then I undo the snap of my jeans and smoothly take those and my boxers off, they hit him too, he can do something useful as I wash. At least that's the story I'm sticking to.

"Ew, dude, seriously?" He's complaining again and I step naked into the shower letting the cold water hit my body and wake me up from the limbo I've been stuck in. I only have harsh soap because it's cheap and has little or no scent to it. Scrubbing myself twice I rinse for the last time and cut the water off.

Towelling dry I scratch at my chin and then shave the beard that's built up, I have to move the loose collar about to reach everywhere and then I'm presentable, or as presentable as I'm going to get.

In the main room Stiles is complaining about the trash and the plates and the lack of food in the place. Wrapping a towel around my waist I wander out and go to get dressed. Black jeans, black top, black socks, underwear, and my black sneakers and I'm ready to face him again. I don't pause and hide in the train carriage like I want to, I'm an adult I can do this.

He's putting things on the table and grins when he sees me, "Hey I made you breakfast," he twitches a few times, "I had to improvise," and there's a carton of long life milk, a tin of beans and a tin of peaches in syrup, "Breakfast of champions," he lies.

Sighing I sit down and rip the milk open, I'm so thirsty I drink it down in one, horrible off taste that accompanies long life milk or not. The top of the beans is clawed off and I use a spoon to scoop them out, then the peaches and I place the empty tin on the table to find him beaming at me, "Awesome. You have to be back now, right? Come on Derek, speak."

I can't help but mess with him so I say, "Woof," and his face falls again as he facepalms, if he's going to make dog jokes at me and disrespect the collar I can be a very badly behaved adult and sub, I'm tired of trying to do the right thing all the time.

He's only sixteen, he's not got what it takes to Dom me, or anyone and I can't help the smirk that crosses my face.

"Not funny," he whines, "Come on Derek, you're the Alpha," he makes claws with his hands and growls at me, "We need you."

"No you don't," I tell him honestly, "You've all made it really clear that you don't need me, that you can in fact do well without me being the Alpha, so go off and handle it yourselves," he doesn't need to know that I'll be drawing the Alpha pack away, that way they'll only have to deal with Peter and they did it before without me, I only stepped in and stole the final blow back then. "Goodbye Stiles," I undo the collar and toss it to him, then I grab my spare car keys and walk out with long strides as he yells at me to come back.

Time to rewrite my will, I think I'll leave him my car, I know he'll take good care of her, he's insanely protective of his jeep, and Laura's car should be loved by someone who can appreciate her.

And I suppose I've gotten one of my wishes come true, someone did collar me, and proceeded to take care of me by making me wash and then feeding me breakfast.

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A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	3. Chapter 3

See chapter 1 for all warnings

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**Balanced on my Knees**

**03**

I've taken to hiding from Stiles, he's sought me out in the subway station every few days since the one where he collared me, and I've snuck out only to return to gifts of food left in my tiny kitchen thing.

At first I ignored the gifts but I got hungry and tried one, turned out to be a really good stew, I think it was homemade too.

Stiles' scent is everywhere in the subway station, and my dirty laundry vanished to be returned cleaned and ironed. My bed has been changed and I have no idea what the hell he thinks he's doing.

I spent this full moon curled up in my bed sniffing the scent of him and I'm really worried that he's becoming my anchor, my wolf rose with the moon and I shifted to my Beta shape but there was no battle for dominance, my instincts were stronger and my impulses harder to control but that's it. This is best I've been since I became the Alpha, I still ache for a Pack but I'm not being driven to find people to Bite.

My affairs are all in order, Stiles is getting the Camaro, and Isaac is getting everything else I own, technically he hasn't abandoned me, even though I've not seen him and the rumours I overheard in town say he's moved into the McCall house, but he's the only Pack member I have left, I'm not counting Peter, and I've tied it up in a Trust with Dr Deaton taking care of it. Not that any of them know about it yet.

The County have been authorised to knock down the shell of my old family home and I signed the last piece of paperwork today and paid for the demolition crew. It's time to put that bit of my past behind me, to let go of them as I'll be seeing them all soon enough.

Glancing around the station it's fairly tidy after spending all day getting rid of the trash and piling the broken stuff off to one side.

Now I have to start planning how to lead the Alpha pack away from Beacon Hills and get them far enough they won't come back.

So of course I hear his damn heartbeat in my ears and I sigh as I leap up to escape out of the side, except that's not his jeep engine coming closer, that sounds like Argent's SUV and I move into the shadows and slink into a better position to ambush anyone coming in and still leave myself several avenues of escape.

It's not the only car, I can hear others, including Jackson's stupid Porsche, that kid is really over compensating for something. I carefully ignore the fact I have a Camaro, because Laura bought that.

Car engines stop and various doors are slammed, I can hear a few murmurs so I know that Scott, Allison and Isaac are also here. Lots of footsteps and scents start to drift in, so I'm unsurprised when I see Uncle Peter, Dr Deaton, Chris Argent, Melissa McCall, Lydia and shockingly Erika and Boyd.

They troop in, with Chris and Melissa limping and smelling of pain, while Erika and Boyd flinch at any and every sound.

Staying where I am I wonder why Scott isn't all over Allison, Lydia is. And Scott is practically wrapped around his mom, Peter's even perving at Melissa from a distance but in a worried way. Chris Argent leans against a pillar and the expression on his face when he looks at Allison is heartbreaking.

Isaac, Boyd, Erika and Jackson are sticking close to Stiles, his eyes are darting around the place clearly noticing what I've done or not done in my clean up attempt.

"Well, where is he?" Jackson snarls and both Peter's and Dr Deaton's eyes flick to up me and away again, interesting that they're not going to tell people where I am.

"Shut up Jackson," Scott snarls back, "No one's seen him in days, he might take a while to turn up..."

"We don't have time to hang around for him," Jackson steps towards Scott threateningly, his eyes turning blue, "We need the Alpha and we need him now."

I'm about to make a big splashy entrance and scare them all out of here when Stiles hugs himself and grunts out, "Stop it, you're scaring Allison and Mrs McCall," and the boy's right Allison, normally so strong and confident, has wilted into Lydia and Melissa is shivering.

My wolf is staring out of my eyes and weighing them all up to see who is trying to take our Alpha position from us and none of them are so the sound of Stiles' voice washes over us, calming us, and I find myself clearing my throat and stepping out where they can see me on another rafter.

"Derek," Scott sounds relieved to see me and he tends to only to that when things have really hit the fan, I might have left it too late to draw the Alpha pack away from them.

Crouching down, I'm still higher than all of them, as I perch on the remains of the rafter, "What happened?" I really don't want to know or get sucked into their problems, only for them to push me away afterwards, but maybe this will speed the process up and make them leave faster.

"The Alphas happened," Jackson snarks out and I'm convinced the Porsche is to make up for that special something he lacks, like compassion, not that I'm the most compassionate person on the planet.

Chris stirs, "They hit us all at the same time in different places, the only one who dodged was Stiles," and my eyes are drawn to the teen who's being far too quiet, "And that's only because he decided to visit his dad at work at the last second."

"The Alpha was hanging around outside though," Stiles adds, "Just loitered until a deputy told him to move."

I want to ask them what they're doing here and what they think I can do but I'm fairly certain it's to hand me across to the Alphas as a bargaining chip. Dropping to the floor I wait silently for them to make their arguments, to do that final act of betrayal and I can finally die.

"Thank god they didn't get you," Isaac says and I blink because he means me.

Boyd moves closer to Erika and I'm not sure they could cling any tighter, "They found us in the woods," his usual unruffled voice is anything but, "And they... They were happy we left you, so they didn't hurt us as much as they were going to," he swallows and the panic is rising in him, "But they didn't realise how much stronger Erika was, and she overheard them speaking," he nudges the girl.

That blonde head lifts up, "They've found a Beta they really like, and they're searching for a Pack weak enough they can waltz in and kill the Alpha, well, hold the Alpha still so the Beta can make the kill and become an Alpha too," she shudders, "Then they're going to rip Beacon Hills apart in a bloodbath."

That's not good news.

"They're hunting for you Derek," Dr Deaton's voice is soft, "And they can't find you, because they will kill you, and then they will kill the rest of us."

Perhaps I can modify my plan? Draw them further away, much, much further away.

And then the fact that these particular people are all talking and cooperating hits me, things are beyond bad if they're here and my plan isn't an option anymore.

"We have a plan," Lydia says and stares at me, "We don't have a big window of opportunity here…" It goes silent and no one is looking at me.

"Fine," Stiles sighs and then walks up to me, staring me right in the eyes he mutters, "You were wrong in the swimming pool," and then he tips his head back barring his neck to me, "You draw blood and turn me, and you will regret it, Alpha or not."

I'm moving before I understand what he's done, he's submitting to me and my wolf opens our jaws to press the gentlest bite it can against his throat, we don't even leave a mark. But as I pull back I can feel it, I can feel the faintest of threads, he's accepted me as his Alpha and I nearly fall over in shock because this is Stiles.

But then Lydia and Allison are there. I don't hesitate, even humans can give me a Pack, it's not the same as if they were werewolves but they bring something else, something deeper, calmer. I'm as careful with them as I was with Stiles.

Then Melissa is there, I blink in shock and Scott is whining as Stiles rolls his eyes at him, "Dude, stop being such a puppy."

Melissa is afraid of me so I whisper, "Just like I did with Stiles and the girls," she nods and her hands come up to grip my t-shirt. As I move away after the bite she breathes out and smiles as me, tentatively.

Stiles whispers her, "He won't smile back, he's too grumpy, but that's his happy look, so take it as a win," I glare at Stiles for the comment, "And that's his normal look," it startles a laugh out of her.

Isaac hurries over and the little bite I give cements our bond, I nod at the Beta, the link between us deepening and adding to the humans and my wolf shakes itself feeling stronger already.

"Isaac," Peter's voice is cold, "Give Derek your phone, since my nephew's ran out of battery weeks ago," the Beta does as he's told and then the phone is buzzing in my hand, I open the message Peter's just sent me and wince.

'**If anything happens, do not leave me behind again, kill me first before abandoning me, PROMISE me**,' it reads and I look up at him glaring at me, I nod and say calmly, "I promise."

And then Peter is there showing me his throat, I nip tenderly at his neck and delete the message before giving Isaac his phone back.

Erika and Boyd join us too and with four wolves the power surge is momentarily dizzying, I can't believe that just leaving them alone to realise that they need me is the thing that worked, I didn't even do it on purpose, it's simply luck. Or bad luck because of the other Alphas.

"Damn," Jackson mutters and stomps over to give me his throat.

And then it's done, I have a Pack again, I remember being in a true Pack, of more than one person, the ties that are slowly growing stronger, the way they wrap around the wolf and let us work so well as one. There's so much useless rubbish out there about the bond out there, but it does feel like home, I'm home, and it's good.

It's so good I want to share with them, I want them to experience this buzz, this power, and then Scott's there and he offers his throat to me too. I can get drunk, or I used to be able to, and right now it's like I'm drunk as I nip at Scott McCall's throat that final bond snapping in place.

Awash in their energies I clumsily throw it back to the werewolves, feeding it down those fragile threads linking them to me. And then the werewolves are dropping to the ground, for a second I think I've hurt them but Jackson of all people giggles so I throw more at them.

They reach some kind of saturation point and I stop throwing them power, which is good for me as my legs give out and I collapse exhausted, breathing through my mouth I pant on the floor and wonder why I feel so wreaked.

"Derek," Dr Deaton sounds impressed, "There are so few Alphas that can do that, let alone will actually do that."

"What did he do?" Chris is demanding anxious and uptight.

Peter coughs, "He shared his power, he boosted us at his own expense," and there's something in Peter's eyes that's softer for a second or two, "We're just shy of being Alphas ourselves but we'll stay Betas."

"What's the catch?" Stiles' voice is agitated and that's when I realise he's kneeling by me and not Scott. His fingers are resting on my shoulder as if he always does that.

Dr Deaton joins him, "This is the catch Stiles, they all get that boost but Derek is the one that pays, it's why most Alphas who can do it, won't do it. He's incredibly vulnerable to attack and injury right now. He'll be fine in an hour or two, he just needs to rest and maybe eat something."

The vet's eyes widen when Stiles' hand on my shoulder tightens for a few seconds but then the man is saying, "And Derek may have just handed us victory over the Alpha pack. The other werewolves will get the boost for a few days, four at the most, plenty of time to spring our own trap on them and keep the true Alpha hidden and safe from them. As long as they can't get to Derek we can stop them. And while I normally don't condone violence and prefer peaceful solutions, sometimes you have no choice when you are defending others than to take the darker options."

"Plus," Stiles murmurs, "It will deter most werewolves from coming here to tangle with us if we can defeat an Alpha pack. Meaning a lot less fights later on, or ones we can win by bluffing."

"Also true," the vet nods.

The Betas are all but bouncing in place, and I get carried to the only couch we have by Isaac, then I get to be baby sat by Melissa and Lydia as the rest of the Pack with Chris Argent and Dr Deaton go out to hunt the Alpha pack while they have the element of surprise on their side.

I'm annoyed at being left behind but I'm ecstatic that I have a Pack again, I'm not alone anymore and while Melissa is still nervous around me, Lydia files her nails as I doze on and off.

It gives me the opportunity to eavesdrop on the women and I learn that the Beta decided to attack Melissa and got very handsy with Scott's mom, while one of the Alphas did the same to Allison. Once they kill me they intended to come back and finish what they started with the women and my blood runs cold, no wonder everyone wants me to stay put and hide like some damsel in distress if it buys us time to stop the Beta becoming an Alpha.

Except that's when Lydia's phone beeps with updates and the two women start coordinating things from the den. Struggling upright I join them and add whatever I can to the plans. I hate sitting this out but I'm not strong enough right now.

Later on I might get a chance to protect or defend and then the call comes through, the new upgraded Betas just took out an Alpha, with Chris' help as he struck the final blow, and the women smell hopeful.

I'm just grateful my Pack is doing so well and wait anxiously for the next update.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	4. Chapter 4

See chapter 1 for all warnings

* * *

**Balanced on my Knees**

**04**

Two days after Peter ripped the Alpha Pack's Beta's throat out, when all the Alphas were dead via special Hunter bullets, I'm rudely brought back down to earth and reality with a bump. My so-called Pack has bailed on me. Now there isn't a threat anymore they've dispersed without even thanking me for the upgrade I unthinkingly gave them.

Scott's even patted my arm and dared to say, "Bye Derek, see you round whenever dude, hopefully not too soon," and walked out without a backward glance to go and woo Allison.

They've all walked out.

They've all left me because they no longer need me.

I don't really blame them. I killed my family. I was a terrible Beta to Laura, never strong enough so we could settle down somewhere, always running. I'm a bad Alpha, it wasn't even my plan that destroyed the Alphas just a chance moment that I gave them the power so they could do what I was too weak to do.

Alone, I walk through the forest to my old childhood home, and watch as the machinery destroys the last vestige of my old carefree life. It doesn't take them long to tear it down, to remove it and I stand there until the sun goes down staring at the empty space that's there now.

I have nowhere else to go so I go to the station to hear that too quick heartbeat inside and spot the jeep parked sloppily by my car. Stiles has made himself at home on the couch and has hooked up his laptop to the ropy electrical supply. He's eating mac and cheese as I glide silently up to him, "Hey Derek," he calls and I blink wondering how he knew I was there, "I brought you some mac and cheese, yours is in the microwave dude, and I brought you some soda too. Go get it, we're gonna watch my new DVD box set."

Confused I'm about to argue when he sighs, "Dude! Come on, it's Sherlock, and it's awesome."

Giving in I indulge him by heating up my share of the dinner, grabbing my drink and sitting next to him to find myself caught up in the drama unfolding in front of me. Whoever wrote this series did an excellent job, I loved reading Sherlock Holmes as a kid, Uncle Peter let me loose in his library now and again when the other kids picked on me too much, and the writers have woven the original stories in with modern twists.

"Derek, this is the part where Watson and Sherlock meet," Stiles whispers and I know that I can see that for myself. And then I lose myself for what turns out to be two hours of brilliantly paced and acted storyline. "Good isn't it," states Stiles.

Nodding my agreement I'm startled that I'm sad he's packing up, "Okay see you tomorrow," he waves to me as he goes and then asks, "Do you want stew or lasagne tomorrow?"

"Stiles, you don't have to feed me," I tell him sternly, grateful that he came but baffled as to why he did.

"I know that," he rolls his eyes, "But I cook for me and dad anyway and one more isn't hard, besides I'm an awesome cook." And then he's gone as I sit there wondering what goes on in that boy's head.

Restless I go running in the woods patrolling my territory, alone, unaided. Occasionally I hear people and stop to listen harder, it's the Hunters, but they're sticking to the trails and simply searching for signs of invasion, they almost seem relaxed.

The woods are clear of other werewolves and I go home for a nap.

Later I get up and shower, shave and dress ready to face a day of doing absolutely nothing but be alone. I wash my car for something to do and wax her until she shines.

I hit up the library and borrow some books, lying about my home address, and then my wolf is going crazy wanting to go back to the station. Where I find Stiles' jeep and his too fast heartbeat.

Tonight Stiles has stew with him and we watch the second episode of Sherlock, he goes home afterwards and I patrol my territory alone. There are Hunters here too but they're going through the motions more than anything.

It sets the pattern for me and I'm glad Stiles is on summer break, though I'm still confused as to why he's doing this, why he's spending time with me and not with Scott, unless Scott is so wrapped up with Allison he's avoiding Stiles, but I can smell the rest of the Pack on Stiles, even Peter.

At the end of the Sherlock second season I stare at the screen and say, "You have the next set right?"

He shakes his head, "Nope, they've not filmed it yet, the actors are all over the place filming other stuff but the writers are working on the new season."

"But…" I keep staring at the screen, "But…"

Chuckling he sits up and shuffles to his knees, "It's okay Derek, really," and then I freeze as he invades my personal space, for a second I think he's going to kiss me but human teeth clamp onto my neck as I grunt in surprise.

I'm about to open my mouth and chew him out, I'm the Alpha after all, when his hand lands on my stomach and his fingers scratch upwards. It should trigger my wolf to attack him, because he's threatening us, except he's not threatening us, and my wolf fucking rolls over and lets Stiles tickle our belly. It trusts Stiles and I'm floundering and making weird whining noises as Stiles continues to rob my mind of reason, I'm so desperate to have a Dom, to be dominated that I can't really resist him and the thinking part of my brain shuts off.

Pulling back he kisses the place he's just bitten and then he helps me stagger to my bed in the carriage, he even sits there as I fall asleep dazed and sated. When I wake up in the morning he's gone, he's left me a note, 'Hey Sourwolf, c u l8r, Stiles :)'.

Scrubbing my face I reflexively press at my throat where he bit me and I can't believe the kid blindsided me like that. This shouldn't be happening, I might have been Omega/Beta but I'm Alpha now and any hint the other werewolves have shown of disobedience to me has always riled my wolf up, I should be acting the same way to Stiles, except I'm not, we're not.

Sighing I run out to the forest and sniff out a safe place to sit and commune with my wolf. Closing my eyes I relax and let go of my human half, letting it sink down and in return my wolf rises languidly.

Together we think about our pack and my wolf is dominant to them, we are in control not them, the three I turned we are fairly sure are cowed and won't seek to attack us. Peter we know better than to trust to turn our back on, and that leaves Jackson, who we're not that keen on and we know we will have problems with and Scott who invokes a snarl because we do not trust him.

The humans the wolf glides over, they are useful but weak, as long as we are firm but never cruel they will not harm us, and then we think about Stiles and I whine at the strength of sexual imagery the wolf has, but what shocks me the most is that it wants to be fucked by Stiles, to be the one below the boy instead of the one on top. My surprise simply makes the wolf snort at my blindness and I'm back to sitting in the forest.

How? How can an Alpha wolf, and my wolf is Alpha, be willing to submit to Stiles of all people? And that doesn't even cover the fact that he's too young, too inexperienced, that he's never had a normal relationship let alone a D/s relationship.

Confused I wander for a while and then cautiously go home, it's too early for Stiles but there's a car parked there, it's Argent's so I creep inside but only his heartbeat is there and he's sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

Dropping soundlessly to the floor I inch closer and then cough. He doesn't jump but he does look and then he sighs, "Hello Derek," this is not the man who smashed my car window or threatened people, this is a man who looks old and tired.

"Chris," I nod and wait.

"We need to talk," he motions to the other end of the couch and I debate ignoring him but then sit because I need to know what he wants so I can counter any double-crossing he's planning.

Sitting in silence I stay still and motionless, my sub training coming in handy, and Chris the great and mighty Hunter twitches and fidgets clearly uncomfortable.

In the background I hear Stiles' heartbeat and then the jeep, part of me wants to run to him and make him turn around so he doesn't get caught up in whatever Chris is working on. And then I hear the brakes squeal as Stiles comes to an abrupt halt. He does nothing for a few seconds and then the jeep is moving behind the ruined station.

The engine cuts out and I think Stiles is using his phone, yes he is using his phone, "Isaac, gather the Pack, Chris' SUV is outside the station, I'm going to scout through a window and I'll text you any details," a pause where Isaac must be speaking and then, "No, of course I won't try and rescue Derek all on my own," but I can hear the lie in his heartbeat from here.

Stiles' feet crunch across the ground and he kneels by a window that gives him a good view of us. Clearing my throat I prompt the Hunter sitting in my den, "You wanted to talk?"

"No," the Hunter says and sighs, "But I rarely get to do what I want anyway. So I'm here to talk about a treaty of non aggression between the few Hunters that are left that follow me and your Pack."

Of all the things I expected that wasn't even close.

"Why?" I ask him, his expression is like he's sucked a lemon and I'm having a similar knee jerk reaction to his request, I know there's a trap being set somewhere but I don't know where. In the background Stiles' heartbeat changes and he's listening intently.

"Because we can't keep doing this," Chris waves his hand. "We can't keep fighting with each other whenever something comes to town. If I hadn't been such a blind idiot we could have tracked down Peter and…" He hesitates then carries on, "And my sister, putting that fiasco to rest quicker, we could have gotten the people that helped murder your family into jail, you wouldn't have had two murder charges against you," he scrubs his face.

"I'm too old for this," he smells of despair.

I hear the sound of other vehicles, ones I know, including the dumb Porsche. They park out back with Stiles and then familiar footsteps cross the ground and Chris is unknowingly out numbered.

Stiles is whispering to them and then the wolves among them are spreading out to cover the exits, my wolf sniffs the air and is pleased they are here, it truly believes they would aid us if Chris attacks, I know better. Peter would wait until I was injured to help me by slitting my throat in revenge, and the others wouldn't put themselves out for me, they've proved that time and again by leaving.

I'm surrounded but I'm alone.

"So you want a treaty between us for mutual protection?" I ask and Peter growls under his breath, there's no way my newly risen Uncle is going to agree to this.

"In a way," Chris nods, "There's too much distrust, well earned distrust, for us to do more than keep each other informed. If one of my Hunters hassles one of your wolves you come to me and I step down on the offender. If one of your wolves hassles one of my Hunters I come to you. If anyone notices strange things we share. And maybe we all get to live a few more years."

"That's it?" I ask confused, that can't be all, he has to have a motive, something extra, something else he's pushing.

"That's more than most places," he stands up, "Think about it Derek, that's all I ask. We did well against the Alphas. No one died. Except them. I prefer it that way."

Maybe he'll use the time to study us and he'll attack when he considers us to be at our weakest.

"One more thing," Argent says, "I need to know what my wife was doing at that Rave," Allison gasps softly, "I need to know what she did to Scott."

"No," Scott whispers almost begging.

"What?" That's Allison again, "What did she do?" And it seems she doesn't know what her mother did to Scott.

Hedging I try to answer without answering, "You already know what she was there to do to him," the teenagers have been dumb before, Allison might not work it out.

I forgot about Chris being an adult and being able to read between the lines, he nods, "So she was there to kill him, she broke the Code." I want to point out how Kate broke it, how Gerard broke it, but he beats me to it, "Why don't any of them understand? Why are they always about the killing? The foolish rushing in? You don't kill werewolves for fun, you kill the ones that go rabid. We're supposed to be deterrents, to stand between the dark and humanity, we're not supposed to be the monsters."

Taking out his keys he nods to me, "I suppose when you stare into the abyss too long it does stare back."

I have no idea what makes me say it but I add, "The staring part isn't too bad, it's when it moves in and makes itself at home that's the problem."

It startles a laugh out of him, "Yes, that would be the problem," and then he lets himself out.

Once Chris is gone the others let themselves in and the place fills up with sound, mostly of them arguing about whether or not to take Chris up on his offer. If I were a true Alpha I should be asking their opinions and then making my mind up to deliver a verdict to them, then they would all roll over and obey me.

But I'm not an Alpha so I go to the fridge and dig out a soda Stiles has left there in the past, I sit over on one side and let them scream themselves hoarse.

It takes them an hour before they unanimously agree to Chris' treaty with the condition that they watch their backs for his inevitable treachery, Allison doesn't like that bit but has had to back down due to history proving the point, including her own involvement, then they all troop out and leave me.

All except Stiles who takes out two containers of food and waves one of them at me, "Dude, I made meatloaf."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

Sorry about the fail of the aftercare, Stiles should have stayed until Derek woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

See chapter 1 for all warnings. Um major Dom failure coming up.

* * *

**Balanced on my Knees**

**05**

I'm upset that Chris Argent has been in my den, that he let himself in and waited for me. A den that Stiles spends far too much of his time in. I refuse to examine the ramifications of that thought too closely.

So I fall back on anger, my failing anchor.

Ignoring Stiles I continue to nurse the soda, it's practically empty but he doesn't have to know that.

"Dude," he tries to get my attention, "Do you not like meatloaf?" He asks and I know I'm being an idiot but I blank him, my wolf is paying him lots of attention and the container in his hand, it likes his food, well I like his food too, but this can't carry on, he can't turn up here whenever he likes, he could get hurt.

"Derek," He's moving closer and I tense inside ready to flee if need be. "Do you need me to bite you again?" He leans down and I almost tilt my head to expose my neck to him and then I bolt away from him. "Okay, I'll take that as a no then," he's confused.

"You need to leave," I tell him firmly and my wolf nips me, it wants Stiles to stay.

"Why? You can't hate meatloaf that much?" He's got that dumb smile on his face, "Or I could tickle your belly," he offers.

"No," I deliberately snarl at him and let my eyes turn red. "I am the Alpha here Stiles, you have to stop your lame attempts at dominating me."

He frowns thinking, that's not good, I have to get him out of here, I have to protect him from people like Chris Argent. He's not a werewolf, he can't defend himself. He'll get hurt, he could die, I can't let him die.

"Okay, what's the real problem Derek?" He cocks his head to one side, "Yesterday everything was cool, we were getting on and now you're all pissy, I know it's not the moon, that's not 'til next week."

I'm not sure how to drive him off and my wolf is unhelpfully picturing us kneeling in the grass of a clearing with Stiles behind us, the boy's hands are on our hips, we're already prepped for him, there's something nudging at our entrance and the boy is about to take us…

Boy.

That's it.

"Stiles, you're sixteen, I'm twenty-two, it's not healthy for you to be here with me, alone. Not when you do things like buy me a collar, or bite my neck, scratch my belly. That leads to things you're not old enough for and you're not ready for," I point out.

His eyes widen and he seems surprised, he's not stupid, he'll work out why this is bad and he'll leave. And I'm not upset over that at all.

I'm not.

Really I'm not.

"Huh," he grins at me instead, "So you do like it when I do that, I read up about it online, there's websites for doms and subs and helpful articles. And it said it didn't have to lead to the things you think I'm not old enough for," of course he's read up on it, this is Stiles. "Dude I am totally ready for those kinds of things," his grin gets wider, "Since I'm new to this we'd have to try things many times and in lots of positions for me to decide if I like them or not."

He walks over to me so confidently, his heartbeat speeds up but that's linked to the spike of anticipation and arousal that's starting to come off of him.

Holding my hands up I fend him off, "You're underage Stiles, it's illegal."

"Only if we tell my dad," he rolls his eyes at me.

And I remember Kate tying me down and lifting up my shirt, she'd bite down on my backbone and whisper how I mustn't tell anyone because they wouldn't understand…

"No!" I jump back from him, "No Stiles."

"Why not?" It's not quite a whine, "You haven't minded up to now, and I've been looking after you and stuff," he looks so hopeful, "Come on Derek, we've been through enough life threatening situations, I know you trust me…"

My wolf leans on me, it wants this, it trusts Stiles, and if I'm honest, I trust him too.

I'm confused.

Nothings the way it's supposed to be.

I'm not supposed to be the Alpha. But I am and Laura is dead. And Peter is not the uncle I used to know, he's a stranger.

My so-called pack has deserted me again, and Stiles is edging towards me and eyeing me up like I do prime beef that's on sale.

I do want to be dominated, I've not had sex for months and months, I could so easily combine both desires with Stiles right now, let him dominate me, let him bite my neck, I shiver at that thought, my knees grow weak wanting me to drop and kneel at his feet. He could undo his jeans, hold my head still, use my mouth, I could suck his cock for him and my own dick twitches and starts to harden in my jeans.

A hand touches my neck wrapping around the front of my throat and I focus my eyes here and now. Stiles is right in front of me, he's only an inch shorter than me, I swallow and my adam's apple slides under his hand, whining in the back of my throat I can feel myself start to surrender to him.

I want this.

I want Stiles. Oh god when did I start wanting Stiles? He's a child but my knees are too weak to hold me up if he doesn't command it and I sink down to kneel for him.

"That's it Derek," he tells me softly, praising me, "Just relax," and I do, I relax as my mind niggles at me.

He drops to his knees too and I frown but then he's leaning forward and he's kissing me, gently, little soft caresses of his mouth on mine, they're a little sloppy and inexperience but they're all for me and I whimper and reach out to rest my hands on his hips.

He doesn't tell me off, he makes a pleased sound and my eyes slide shut as he kisses me and I bask in his attention, his other hand rests on my shoulder then rubs around to the back of my neck, his fingers ruffle my hair and I whine tipping my head back at his unspoken command.

The fingers on the front of my throat are stroking the skin and I bare my throat to him trustingly. He bends down and those same soft tender kisses are pressed to my jugular, then he starts to explore with his mouth leaving a burning trail of kisses behind him as his first hand joins the other one in my hair holding me still for him.

I'm not sure if he wants me to moan or not, I let a little one out and his heartbeat speeds at the sound, he doesn't tell me no so I do it again as he finds a spot that makes me shudder, this time he bites gently on the spot and the moan I give is louder, I like that spot, he takes the hint and rewards me by scraping his teeth there, I don't hold back this time and give him a full moan.

He moans back and my hips thrust uselessly finding no friction to relieve the rapidly building need taking over my body. My wolf isn't helping, it's thinking of rutting Stiles' leg, of begging him as we ride his thigh, feeling those muscles under us clench and relax, waiting for him to tell us when to cum.

"Stiles, god, please," I can't hold back much longer, I need him too much, I need this too much, I want him to push me down and take me. "Fuck," is ripped from me as he attacks that spot on my neck.

And then he does push me down, well he sort of falls against me and I fall backwards like a good sub, he hasn't told me to stay upright. He stops sucking his mark on my neck for a few seconds and gazes down at me as I pant on the floor.

It's going so fast, I can't concentrate, I can't think, his scent is filling my nose to the point I can't smell anything else, his breathing and heartbeats are filling my ears, his hands are on my shoulders and I can't move them without his say so. His body is partly covering mine and it feels so good, so right.

I just need a moment.

I just need to breathe.

I just need him to steady me, to help me, to lead me to that good place.

I just need to tell him our safeword.

I can't remember the safeword.

Why can't I remember the safeword?

Shaking my head I struggle uselessly under him. It's not that he's stronger than me, because he's not. It's because he's dominant to me, my wolf is no help and is lusting after him, my body is burning and drowning. His teeth find my neck and he bites at just the right spot to make my back bow and rip a howl from me.

"Derek," his voice is lustful and raw, he wants me and I want to please him, to satisfy him, but something is wrong and I whimper in uncertainty.

"Stiles," I whisper his name and his hips buck into me, he's so hard, so ready for me, "Please, Stiles," I'm begging and I don't know if I want him to stop or to keep going. I've been trained by good Doms in New York and I somehow manage to force, "Safeword," past my lips, "Safeword, please Safeword, Safeword, Safeword, Safeword." I chant the word and barely notice when he stops touching me and moves away.

"Derek?" He sounds upset and I look at him, "Dude, are you crying?" My face is a little wet and as he's not holding me down I can scrub at my face. "Derek…" my name is so soft on his lips that I glance up at him to see he gazing at me gently, "It's okay, it's okay Derek, you're okay, I won't do anything, I won't hurt you."

I snort at that, of course he can't hurt me, I'll heal any damage his puny human strength can do to me, but I'm shaking anyway. I can heal damage and he can't. The memory of an Argent standing here in my so called den makes me whine, Stiles could have been here, he could have gotten hurt, it's only luck that drew me back her before him, so I met Chris, not Stiles.

Stiles who's creeping across the floor on all fours, he smells worried and upset, "It's okay Derek, it's okay," he's trying to soothe me and I kick myself away from him and his face falls going pale and sickly. "Can you talk to me Derek?" His voice is shaking.

I nod at him, "Yes."

"Great," There's false enthusiasm in his tone and face, "That's awesome. Talking is good, we can just talk…" He shudders slightly, "I'm sorry Derek, I thought you were as into that as I was, I didn't mean to… I mean… Crap," he rubs his hand over his short hair, it's a nervous habit he's picked up. "Dude I should have asked, and then kept checking you were still on board for what we were doing. Jesus it just felt so good, you felt so good," he's sort of praising me, "I still should have checked."

He grimaces, "I'm sorry Derek, that won't happen again, I promise, I'll do better next time."

He's so earnest, his heartbeat is so steady, so calm, he means it. He really means it.

He wants to do it again, he wants to do that with me, he wants me…

No.

No, he's underage, he's too young, he should be with someone his own age, someone who's not broken, not useless, not an abandoned fucked up mess.

His own words give me an idea and then I'm snarling at him, accusing him of not buying me the collar because I mean something to him, he looks startled and I add how we don't have a contract, that we don't have a safeword, that he didn't explain to me what we were going to be doing, how he didn't respect me, he just wanted to use the pretty eye candy, he flushes at that and smells ashamed.

Damn it.

"Stiles, you're too young for this, it's okay that you screwed up, you've not had a chance to learn what you want or to find a girlfriend or boyfriend that's right for you. You don't need me Stiles, you need someone better," and I ramble about how this mythical person will be perfect for him and treat him right, and he smells confused when I describe some of his idiosyncrasies perfectly, and there's more perfection happening and so much perfect that I stop suddenly.

He's frowning at me his head cocked to one side thoughtfully, that's not good, so I blow up and snarl and try to scare him away, he holds his ground and doesn't run.

So I go for the low blow, I go for the deal breaker, I mention his dad, that gets a reaction out of him, his whole face closes down and I give him an ultimatum, tell his dad about werewolves, tell him how I'm a sub and how Stiles, underage Stiles wants to date me and doesn't want to hide me like I'm a dirty little secret he's ashamed of, I don't mention Kate but it's how she made me feel, like I wasn't good enough for her. Only when his dad knows everything and agrees to let us date can Stiles come back and claim me as his sub.

Hastily I add that we'd have to hide the D/s side of things from the Pack because most people misunderstand that and would assume I'm giving up control of the Pack to Stiles, when I'm not, I'm still the Alpha, but Stiles would have higher standing than anyone else in the Pack.

And then I flee.

He'll never tell his dad, so I'm safe and I hide in the tree line as Stiles leaves, his feet dragging on the ground. He still looks thoughtful and then he thumps his steering wheel followed by a yelp and he then cradles his handle muttering under his breath.

When he leaves my wolf realises what I've done and it's so unhappy with me that it bucks against my control and we fight for dominance, I won't give in to him, I daren't give in to him, I won't let him hurt Stiles. That makes him stop and then he does the mental equivalent of turning his back on me and ignoring me.

Falling to the floor I curl up and I know this is the last time I'm going to see Stiles, that he'll realise he doesn't need me and he'll find someone better, and then he'll leave me too.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	6. Chapter 6

See chapter 1 for all warnings

* * *

**Balanced on my Knees**

**06**

I was right, Stiles has left me, moved on, abandoned me, just like he should. He's not been back for over a week. My wolf is unhappy but I pointed out that Argent had been here, that Stiles could have stumbled in on Argent and gotten hurt. I've convinced him Stiles is better off this way, though now my wolf is as unhappy as I am.

Curled on top of a rafter I listen to the sounds of the distance forest and wonder what I'm supposed to do with my life now, I've always done as I was told, I joined the basketball team because my parents told me, I played nicely with the other children, I never made any friends because my parents told me to keep my distance, I was always dutiful, right up until I got them killed.

I was doubley careful to obey Laura, to get the low paying jobs, to bring in some money so we could eat and move on, always moving on. I stayed back when we got the report of the deer with the spiral, I let her come here alone and I got her killed, I should have been here but I was good and I obeyed and I still fucked up.

I don't know what to do.

There's no one here to tell me what to do.

I tried to make a new family, tired to find those with nothing to lose and offered them a new beginning. Instead I destroyed their lives, made them targets, got them hurt. I'm such a useless Alpha, they deserve better. They don't need me, except to give them a power boost and that's something I discovered by accident.

My phone beeps and I consider ignoring it.

Sighing I take it out and discover a text from Scott, they need me to give them power to fight off a creature, he's given me his coordinates.

I consider ignoring his demand for his upgrade, it felt amazing at first but the after-effects were truly horrible. Sighing I text him to tell him I'm on my way and as it's near an access road I take my car, I'll feel like shit afterwards I won't be up to walking home.

I pull up near Scott's mom's car to find Scott, Isaac and Erika waiting for me in the bight sunshine, today is going to be a truly hot day, a perfect summer day. I don't even get a hello from Scott he just demands the power from me but I ask him, "You've called in the others?"

"No," Isaac shakes his head, "Peter's off shopping giving Mrs McCall advice on some shoes and they're getting a manicure together," Scott's face sours and I flounder wondering when Peter managed to convince Melissa to let him within five miles of her. "Stiles is grounded and his dad has threatened him with boarding school in on the East Coast if he gets into any trouble at all," oh, maybe that's why Stiles hasn't been around but I ruthlessly stamp on the fragile hope that's starting to grow. "Lydia and Jackson are at a Jackson family thing and must not be disturbed short of the apocalypse starting, Boyd's at his job, and the Argent's are doing some Hunter thing."

I'm uneasy about the Hunters and I don't want to involve them at all, "But you did tell Chris and Allison about this?" I wave a hand and hope it conveys the right amount of 'this'.

"I left her a message," Scott says and I guess we've covered everything, "We know what we're doing Derek, trust me," that raises my hackles and my wolf wants nothing more than to run away, but Deaton had been right, Scott was the one who ultimately defeated Gerard, I was just the weapon he used. And Stiles got Lydia there so she could save Jackson, again I was the weapon used by them.

"Fine, but be careful," I reach out down the fragile bonds and pour my energy towards them, like sponges they soak it up and for a few moments it's like I belong, like we're really a Pack, one in thought and deed. For a few glorious moments I'm not alone.

And of course it doesn't last.

Erika is giggling on the ground, "Tickles, like bubbles inside of me," and she flips to her feet showing off, as Scott and Isaac get up they're smiling.

Then they run off and I sway on my feet, suddenly the sun's rays are too warm, no they're hot, my head spins, I fall to the ground shivering, my head cracks against something and it all goes black.

"Derek?" That sounds like Chris, "Damn, Allison call Deaton," why would he call Deaton? He'd just put a bullet in my head, then he'd be happy, one less monster to worry about.

The blackness sucks me back down.

"Damn it Scott what were you thinking?" That sounds like Melissa. I wonder why I'm dreaming of her, perhaps she's yelling at me like I wish she would Scott, she's too soft with him, but then soft can be good.

"Derek," And that's Deaton, he sounds like he's right next to me, "Derek I've put IV's in your arm, you're badly dehydrated, we're going to move you now," my whole body sways like I'm being carried on something, "Careful with him you two, watch his head."

"Doc, we got it," That's Jackson.

"I believe he's more upset that Derek's head wound isn't healing," Peter's voice is smooth like honey, but sour with a sting.

"Whatever, just load him up," And that's Stiles, "He's staying at mine while he recovers, those three idiots get to stay in the vets for a few days," he's angry, did I do something wrong?

"Okay he's in," it's Stiles again, a hand touches my arm and I know it's him, "Come on Derek, I know you can pull through this, you're the Alpha, remember…"

"Stiles," It's the Sheriff, why is he here? "He good to go?"

"Yep, just need some fresh bags to keep him hydrated 'til he can drink for himself and we're good," I'm dreaming, I have to be dreaming. I'm really unconscious on the ground. Scott will have dispatched whatever the critter was and they left me. "Derek, it's okay, shh, don't move yet, let your body recover a bit more," I listen to my dream version of Stiles and drift off pretending that I'm safe.

I like this dream.

And I let the darkness take me.

Everything smells of Stiles. I breathe him in and it fills my lungs. This is the best dream, even better than when I dream my family is still alive.

That jack rabbit heartbeat of his is thudding away nearby and I sigh at how good it is to hear it again. His voice is muted by the house, his house, and then I hear his dad, yes, this has to be a dream, a good dream.

I cling to the dream and doze as I follow him around his house with my ears, I listen as he talks and there's the clatter of cutlery and plates, he's in the kitchen.

When he stumbles up the stairs I play dead, I don't want to wake up just yet, I want to stay here for a bit longer. I know I'll have to wake up and then drive myself to the old depot, but not yet, not just yet.

"Derek," his voice is soft, his hand on my face is gentle and my body betrays me by turning and pressing into him, "Hey," he greets me and I lever my eyes open to see him bending over me, "There you are, I was getting kinda worried about you," and that proves this is a dream. "Let me check your head wound, turn your head that way," he points away from him and I obey, it's only a dream.

He fiddles with something that hurts on my head, "Hmm, it's closing up, that's good, that's really good," I like being good, I like being praised and when he tells me lay still and sleep I do.

I can hear his heartbeat again.

It's downstairs.

But his dad is upstairs.

And there are the sounds of night insects outside the house.

Is it night?

It must be, the room is darker than normal, and it's Stiles' room. I didn't dream that bit, I'm really here. I wiggle on the bed, I'm dizzy but that's all, and there are IVs in my left arm. I pull them out and they dangle there.

Sitting up I have to wait a second for the room to stop spinning. I'm under his covers that smell like him and I can't help sniffing them, then I swing my legs down onto the floor and get to my very unsteady legs.

Huh, I'm only wearing boxers.

And then my legs give out and I crash to the bedroom floor.

Embarrassed I lay there and the world won't stop spinning. Why won't it stop spinning? I screwed up somehow, I messed up giving them the boost, I must have done, god I can't do anything right.

"Derek!" It's Stiles and I turn my face away embarrassed that he only ever sees me at my weakest, not that I'm ever really that strong. "Okay, I've got you," he tells me but while his heartbeat is steady he's still managing to lie to me because no one ever has me, I'm not worth it. "Alright Derek, let's get you back to bed, we'll get some more fluids in you and you'll be healed up by morning…"

"What happened?" The Sherriff is standing in the doorway rubbing at his face sleepily. "Is Derek okay?"

"I think he's still feeling the effects of the sunstroke and dehydration," Stiles heaves my shoulder and I automatically try to follow, only I'm not strong enough and crash back down again, god I'm so pathetic. "Right, that's not going to work, okay let's try crawling then, come on Derek," and I obey him, I crawl the very short distance and then two sets of hands and strength are helping me back into Stiles' bed. "Right IVs are going back in, no arguing with me, and then you'll drink the special stuff the vet made you, then you damn well sleep Derek and we'll talk in the morning."

I'm so tired I don't bother arguing, there's nothing to talk about, I screwed up, I'll own up, again, and then I'll go back to being alone. Inside me my wolf squirms to be so close to Stiles, to being pampered and cared for by him, he's not a threat to our standing in the Pack, he's something we crave.

A hand strokes my face and I instinctively nuzzle as sleep claims me again.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	7. Chapter 7

See chapter 1 for all warnings

* * *

**Balanced on my Knees**

**07**

Birds are chirping brightly outside and I wiggle on the bed bringing up the covers where a wave of Stiles hits my nose and my eyes snap open.

I really am in Stile's room.

In my boxers.

And there are IVs in my arm and three large empty bottles near the bed, he made me drink those last night, after I collapsed.

This time my head is clear, no dizziness, no pounding headache, no aches anywhere, I feel physically fine.

Downstairs are two heartbeats, Stiles and the Sherriff, I wonder if there is a way for me to sneak out of this, to escape into the night, well day, to avoid the consequences but I know there isn't.

Slowly I sit up and carefully remove the IVs, my feet touch the floor and this time I inch to my feet, there's a short burst of weakness but it fades and I check around the room for my clothes, there's nothing. And I know from past experience that Stiles' clothes don't fit me.

Footsteps on the stairs alert me to Stiles ambling up them, he trips twice, and then he's bounding into his room and I have nowhere to hide, "Derek, you're awake," he looks happy to see me and I don't understand. "Awesome, go shower and I'll make lunch."

Lunch? How late is it? I glance at his bedside clock and blink because it reads almost two in the afternoon.

"I'll put some clothes on my bed for you," Stiles is still talking, "And then we can talk, you know about stuff," he shoos his hands at me and I let him herd me into the bathroom, I know where everything is, it isn't the first time I've been in here.

Peeing I'm surprised how unfull my bladder is, I've drunk a lot of liquid and then the IVs should have put more liquid in me, I guess I was dehydrated which is strange, I'm a werewolf that shouldn't happen. Climbing in the shower I try and eavesdrop on Stiles and his dad but they both come upstairs and I can hear wardrobes and dressers being opened and closed, like they're getting dressed but Stiles was already in his hoodie and jeans. Then they go downstairs again.

Getting out and drying I sling the towel around my waist and go to Stiles' room, as he said there are clothes on the bed for me. They smell like his dad, and I pull on worn sweatpants and faded t-shirt with 'Beacon Hills PD' almost washed off the front of it. The socks are Stiles' and comfy, there is no underwear and I go commando.

Dressed, I pad down the stairs, to find the Sheriff dressed up in nice slacks and a dress shirt, with tie. Damn I must be stopping him from going out somewhere, "Ah there you, dining room please Derek," he points and I do as I'm told.

The dining room is set with three placemats, it looks like the nice cutlery has been put out and there are side plates made of china I've never seen while I've been here before, are they expecting a guest?

And then I see my collar sitting in the middle of the table, it's resting on a few very smart looking presentation folders. I freeze in surprise but then Stiles is bustling into the room with nice looking plates of what must be lasagne and he's putting the plates down. He's dressed up too, nice pants, a shirt, a tie, and I feel very under dressed right now.

"Hey Derek, sit down, I just gotta get the garlic bread dude and we're all set," is all he says as he breezes back out. The Sherriff is watching me so I can't just flee, I slink over to the chair I know they don't sit on and settle in for a damn uncomfortable conversation about the age of consent and how I busted it, god maybe the Sherriff is getting ready to arrest me or else he's going to warn me off of Stiles.

Keeping my hands in my lap I let my sub training take over, I go still and quiet with my eyes downcast, it will be best not to antagonise the Sherriff over anything. The more polite I am now the better this should go, I hope.

When Stiles brings the garlic bread in I'm invited to help myself to food, I'm careful to take small amounts to thank them, to be as non-confrontational to them as I can. My wolf seems to understand and frankly it's revelling in being so close to Stiles, to eating with Stiles, to smelling him and listening to his heartbeat.

The meal is as awkward and as stilted as I thought it would be but there are no accusations and all I can sense from Stiles is a growing nervousness and a slight increase in anxiety. The Sherriff isn't as calm as he's letting on but he's hiding it better, probably more practice.

I have to sit there while Stiles and his dad clear away the table, all except for my collar and the folders, I'm so glad I'm so well trained as a sub, you soon learn to not move and to blank parts of your mind, if not the anxiety from the waiting for your Dom can do can drive you crazy, and you want to please them not piss them off.

They both sit back down, there's no dessert, so this must be the part I'm really going to hate. The Sheriff leans forward putting his elbows on the table, "Fine," he sighs almost defeated, "I hereby give my blessing and full parental consent to this."

That was fairly archaic and I can hear Stiles' heart speed up, he smells happier, still anxious but better, "Thank you dad."

"Don't thank me Stiles, if you screw this up I will keep my promise, do you understand? You will go to the East Coast, and you will never see Derek or any of your friends again for years. There will never be anything like the incident in the train depot again, you will never use him like that again. And if he ever hurts you…" His dad is being very serious, I keep my eyes firmly fixed on the table.

I'm expecting Stiles to say something funny or sarcastic, "Yes sir, I understand," that's not like Stiles and I flick my eyes towards him, he looks just as serious, he catches me staring at him and I drop my eyes instantly. "I might be new at this but I'm going to do the best I can, and I WILL learn from any mistakes I make."

I have no idea what they're talking about.

"Good, now let's get started," his dad takes one of the presentation folders from the pile, there are three of them. "Derek, please pay attention to this," I jerk my head up and give him as submissive an eye contact as I can. He holds the folder out to me, "If you could please take a look at this and point out any errors."

"Yes Sheriff," I aim for polite and wonder if he's drawn up something that won't land me in jail, and then I actually read it and nearly drop it in surprise. It's a contract between Stiles, as the Dom, and me, as the sub. There isn't much there, it's got our full names and I blink in shock at Stiles', our birthdays, there are sections for punishments and rewards that are empty, as are the soft and medium limits, there are two entries under hard limits, one is fire and has my name there, the other is bloodplay and has Stiles' name against it.

The only other section that's filled in is under safewords, Stiles has gone with the red, amber, green set of words, though it has 'To be agreed upon' next to it.

At the bottom is says this is a work in progress and has all the normal out clauses for us so we can dissolve this relationship if it doesn't work. It also has three areas for signatures, mine, Stiles' and his dad's as the parent because Stiles is currently underage by Californian law.

Blinking because I must have misread this somehow I look up to find both Stilinskis watching me thoughtfully. The Sheriff clears his throat, "We're aware that there's a lot missing from the contract, until Stiles is eighteen the contract will reside with me, you will both come to me and we will fill in and amend the contract as we go. Eventually it will be up to you two to keep it up to date and amend it, though I reserve the right to be a mediator where required so either of you can come to me if you need to."

I didn't misread it, it really is a contract, a contract of my own, one that would make Stiles my Dom, I'd be owned for the first time in my life, I'd belong to him and only him. I'm glad neither of them are werewolves or they'd hear my heart trying to beat out of my chest, they'd smell the stupid hope I'm trying not to drown in.

"Also," and the Sheriff turns a very strange colour, "I hereby give permission for kissing, making out, and orgasms to be allowed between you both while under my roof. The only stipulations I have is that there is to be no penetrative sex until Stiles is eighteen, and I do not need to know the details unless you need me to mediate. Okay? And Derek you are allowed to tell him to go to hell if he pushes you for more than you're ready to give." Those last bits are directed at Stiles who's nodding vigorously.

"Absolutely dad, I have no wish for you to find out anything about my almost sex life, the sex talk we had was bad enough," both of them pale at that and then turn to me, "So, Derek, are you ready to make a decision or do you need time to think about it?"

I want this.

I want it so badly.

My wolf is pressing against me trying to get me to give in, it's pointing out that his dad knows all about it, that we'd be collared and bound, that we'd belong no matter what. It wants Stiles, very badly, I want Stiles just as badly.

I never get what I want, that's selfish. I'm selfish. So selfish, and I'm so tired of not getting something for me, I just want this one thing.

"There's no pressure Derek," Stiles says it softly, "We can stay friends no matter what, you'll also still be the Alpha of the local wolves," and that is a joke they don't need me, "I have no interest in being in charge of them so we won't clash there, believe me I would be the last person you should put in charge of them, " and I get another idea, if Stiles isn't interested in being the Alpha, then he's interested in me because of me, which means I could in theory give the power to Scott, and I'd still have a place because Stiles will always have a place.

My wolf doesn't like that idea and lunges, it is not going to give up being an Alpha without a fight, it won't submit to anyone, but it will roll over for Stiles. I don't understand it but I accept it and realise I'm going to be selfish and accept this too, god I hope this is real, that I don't mess up like I mess everything else up.

Both Stilinskis are sitting there so I nod, "Yes, yes I accept," and that's it, a pen is produced and we all sign the contract, the small contract, but a contract none the less.

"Right," Stiles stands up and holds the collar in his hands, "Derek, I know I bought this collar as a joke to make fun of your canine side, but I'd like to think it's a lucky collar because it's also brought me you. So please accept this collar as a very small token of my affection and my intentions for being your Dom."

He's really going to present me with my collar, he's doing it the way I've always wanted. Sliding from the dining room chair I sink to my knees in front of him. I put my hands behind my back and stretch my neck out for him.

I'm balanced perfectly on my knees as he slips the collar around my neck and does it up, his hands tug on the collar checking the fit and then his fingers rub through my hair, "There, now you belong to me Sourwolf."

Now I belong to him and something inside me relaxes for the first time in my life, I let go and hope he catches me, I'm so tired, so worn down, and his fingers never falter on my scalp as I sink down and give him control.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	8. Chapter 8

Because I love happy ever afters:

* * *

**Balanced on my Knees**

**08 - Epilogue**

Ten Years Later:

I place the plate in front of him and step back, he takes an experimental bite of the omelette and nods, "Perfect, thank you Derek."

"You're welcome," I pause for a few seconds, "Dad," he chokes slightly on the food and then laughs at me.

"Finally, it's only taken you four years to get used to that," he pauses too, "Son. Now get your lord and master's food upstairs before it gets cold and we have to put up with him whining all day," I laugh along with him and carry the tray as he's told me to. I thought it would be hard to have the Sheriff as an emergency Dom, but over the years he's stepped up for both Stiles and I.

I'm smiling as I pad silently up the stairs to our room, I also thought it would be hard to move in and live under the same room as the Sheriff but it's worked out well, Stiles has made half-hearted noises about moving out but he's more than happy to stay here until his dad's wedding in a few months. We're all moving out at that point, Stiles and I have a nice little apartment we're going to, the Sheriff and Tanya are getting a little house closer to the preschool she works at.

Nudging the bedroom door open with a foot, I nudge it shut and my lord and master is sprawled out on his stomach drooling into the mattress, his hands are already searching for me and he's starting to wake up.

Kneeling by the bed I present the tray to him and blow over the coffee to push the scent towards his human nose, he sniffs audibly and cracks an eye open, "Nrghthurgh?" He scrubs at his mouth and blinks sleepily.

"Good morning Stiles, I made you breakfast," I state the obvious and I can't help smiling when he smiles at me. "Today is our tenth anniversary since you collared me," I know he knows, he's written it on our private calendar and dropped enough hints about taking me out making it special, to re-affirm our relationship.

"Derek," he sits up slowly and motions for me to put the tray on his lap, "Thank you, you're an awesome boyfriend and sub," he praises me and even pets me on my head, I love that and butt my head into his hand so he'll run his fingers through my hair, he rewards me by doing just that.

Rumbling at how good his fingers are I close my eyes and balance on my knees, this is one of my favourite sub positions and he knows it, he tends to spoil me and rewards me a lot. He also won't let me get away with any of my normal shit which is probably why we're all still alive, between him and his dad they've helped me become a true Alpha. It was humiliating when his dad sat me down and talked to me about leadership lessons then he admitted that was the way he'd had to learn too, that he wasn't a natural born leader, that is was something he'd learned the hard way.

Stiles going to college was hard too, my Dom was miles away from me, Skype and the phone can only do so much, though it was the point I broke down and went to therapy, so that helped me too, I was finally ready to get my head sorted out.

I think of all the shit we've gone through and we still made, I smile and wait for him to find the ring I hid in the chopped up strawberries, before this I wouldn't have been ready, I was a fucking mess, broken. Stiles held me together so I could heal myself.

The sharp indrawn breath makes me look up to see him stunned and speechless, a very rare occasion and then he nods and fumbles the ring onto his finger, and I'm happy, really happy, apparently I do get to be selfish and not get punished for it, I leave the punishing to Stiles now.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

See stupidly quick and to the point, I just wanted one person to step up and take care of Derek, to catch him so he could fall and hurt, to shelter him so he could heal a bit. And it's was pre-relationship, plus happy ending. Urgh I waiver between wanting to hug Derek and wrap him up in cotton wool and bubble wrap and wanting to smack him sometimes. Plus in my head he makes an awesome sub, he really does need a keeper.


End file.
